Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
