you didnt know i had herpes?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
