She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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