sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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