thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
