so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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