So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's just so happy...and so naked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
