the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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