She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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