I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
