Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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