My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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