theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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