i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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