we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
