IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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