Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
