I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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