Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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