I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
