So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
