Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
