I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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