he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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