hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
