So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
