so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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