dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
