Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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