The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
