My room smells like vodka and shame
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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