He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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