The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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