So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
