I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
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Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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