I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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