can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
