can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
