woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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