I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
