If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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