Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
