i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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