Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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