D3 body, D1 cock
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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