So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She's the barista slut.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
