just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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