quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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