What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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