I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
