it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize