That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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