i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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