Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
