Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
