Cold hands, warm shart.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
