haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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