I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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