I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
