Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
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So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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