So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
