New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
