never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
