This girl is more easily done than said...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
